Why do problems arise in relationships after the birth of a child: how to preserve the family and intimate relationship among young parents- 5 of the main rules

Two sticks on the test, this is evidence that the couple will soon become the parents of wonderful Karapus. For awareness of the appearance of a new family member, 9 months is given, but not all married couples are ready to change the changes that appear after the birth of a child. What changes should be prepared by both spouses? How to avoid misunderstanding and cooling to each other? How not to lose your past warm, passion, mutual understanding? All this and much more will be discussed in this article.

The main components of the crisis in family relationship after the birth of a child

From the point of view of psychology, family crisis After the appearance of a child is a period of claims, discontent, nervousness, fatigue, misunderstanding in relations. The main problem is the lack of free time, since the baby fills all the free space. To survive the family crisis of the first months after the birth of a child, you need to understand the changes occurring in the partner.

How does a woman change after the birth of a child?

Pregnancy period if it is not burdened heavy toxicosis And other difficulties of entering the fetus, many women are called the most romantic. A man shows a maximum of concerns, it supports everything, belongs to trepidation and increased tenderness. With the birth of a child for a woman, everything changes dramatically.

1. Maternal instinct wakes up. Mother fanatically protects his child, giving him all his strength, time and emotion, while a man remains aside.
2. Hormonal bursts. Internal changes, breastfeeding, change of hormonal background, lead to mood drops, postpartum depression, nervous breakdowns.
3. Mode "non-stop". In taking care of a newborn, a woman does not fall out that often becomes the cause of irritability, tearlessness, loss of appetite. It seems to her that they do not understand it, do not support, avoid.
4. Discontent oneself. After childbirth, the woman's body changes, becoming a large emotional problem. It is on this fact that young mothers often write off the destruction of once perfect family relationships.

How is the life of a man after the birth of a child?

For a man, the appearance of the baby, this is a responsible moment, step into a new life. Husbands are trying to realize that this lump is their own continuation, new life, the most favorite creature. Many realize themselves as a dad, but MEGA Mother's Mother over the kid pushes them. Some men are afraid of the responsibility that has fallen on them, avoiding any communication with the newborn. In both cases the whole well-established world of a man begins to change dramatically.
He does not get care from the beloved woman who even recently prepared delicious dishes, asked how things at work, spent all his free time nearby. The main change can be attributed to:

1. Wife becomes a strangerWith which you just live under the same roof. She fully and completely gives himself a newborn, forgetting about the once beloved person.
2. No sex. At the beginning of the physical reasons (the first 1-2 months after childbirth), then because of strong fatigue and the desire to just sleep.

These factors do not satisfy the strengths of this world, therefore the relationship in the family is intended.

Misunderstanding each other, the absence of mutual support and mutual assistance, most often the cause of the collapse of the family after the birth of the child.

What to do when the relationship spoiled in the family after the child's birth?

Blaming one of the partners in the collapse of the family after the birth of a child is stupid. Since both are always to blame for conflict: both:

• a woman in concerns about a child forgets about the existence of a man,
• a man deprived of his wife's attention is not trying to take care of the Karapuse with a common matter, and further distinguishes from the tired spouse.

According to psychologists, you should not wait for you that you will understand, you need to talk about boiling, and that is not satisfied with the relationship. After all, the birth of a child is the greatest joy for loving people who are able to hear each other.

Learn a man should a woman. Crees, requirements, transmission of part of worries, will not help. Take care and allow the partner to relax, show understanding to his fatigue, let the opportunity to sleep with a crying baby in the next room or a walk. Showing that you care about him, you can ask for a little rest for yourself: " Dear you rested, and I'm so tired for these 3-4 days, stay with the baby, and I will rest". Gradually, such an order becomes the norm, and you will learn about the carapuse, giving a pass to each other.

What to do wise woman not to lose her husband after the birth of a child?

After the child's appearance, the mother completely dissolves in its "Chad". This is the natural process of "Mother Nature-laid". But we should not forget that psychologically happy, balanced, physically healthy kid grows in a full-fledged family. One partner in his face will not be able to replace the child and dad, and mom.

Think about it! Why do men leave families, throwing and forgetting their children, over time find a woman with a child who gives his love and affection? Surely everyone knows several such examples. It's all about a woman. A wise woman can arrange a man and to himself, and to the child (even if he is not native).

In its inner disorders, a woman wiser and cunning. If desired, it will not be difficult for her to attach a man to care about the baby. Insert a husband in mind that it is the best and favorite daddy just enough.

1. Replace the words "I will do ..." on "help me, I can not cope without you." And it does not matter whether it is a bathing of a child, a walk in the fresh air, replacement of diaper or housework.
2. Show the actions that the ability to sleep and fully rest beneficially affects all aspects of family life. If he sat at night a few hours with a child, giving you a sleep, treat his favorite dish by returning from work or arrange a joint viewing of the film while the child sleeps in the afternoon. A man should feel that he receives a "return" pleasant to his help for himself, then care of the baby will not be in a burden and an interest will appear that the spouse rested.
3. Valuable time spent together, so try at least a little time to spend each other. When a child sleeps, a joint pastime should be enjoyable. The baby fell asleep - a woman in the kitchen, a man to TV - not to strengthen the family. Remember what you loved to do together before the birth of the baby. Such family moments are combined, making the bonds of marriage stronger.
4. Young mothers always get tired, as they are on their shoulders the bulk of the concern for the newborn. We should not forget that for a man's Men, the coming after the birth of a child is stress. The male floor does not know how to hide its emotions and discontent, which often becomes the cause of scandals. Wise woman saw his spouse on a platoon who came home on a platoon, will not reproach him absence of help, money, understanding, etc., and will trigger with the words: "Well, tired, rest a little, walk or go to the shower." After 1-2 hours, he will forget about the problem and will dare to the woman and the child.

Understanding its importance, value for the newborn and the spouses will enhance the man and strengthen family relationships.

Sex to be or how to keep intimate relationship with your husband after the birth of a child?

For men, sex is an important component of family relations, While a woman engaged in concerns about a newborn can do without him for months.

It is possible to argue the need for help from your beloved person: " Dear pursuer with the baby I am a little rest. In the evening when he falls, we will spend time together ». The main thing is to sleep and relaxed under rest and relax, and not grab the pan, washing or cleaning. Since the forces for sex will not be right away, and the man will feel deceived and next time will come up with a million excuses, so as not to help the baby.

Women's complexes play a big role. Yes, after childbirth do not become better. Slightly sagging stomach, several extra kilograms, dirty hair and bruises under the eyes will not be noticeable for the partner, if a woman does not affect the attention to the disadvantages that have appeared.

If physical changes are concerned and cause complexes - do it yourself. Detach 20-30 minutes exercise And for 1-3 months results will be noticeable. If the man made a remark about the appearance, then you need to negotiate with him - he spends several hours a day with a child until the woman is engaged in its appearance.

Sex be! Despite the greater fatigue and desires to sleep, to preserve family relations, a young mother is obliged to turn into a welcome woman, a mistress, a sexual partner at least 2 times a week. Wherein sex should be bright, interesting,with hot kisses and passion, and not "quickly, I want to sleep."

Work on the relationship after the birth of a child: 5 basic rules

It is known that you need to work on relationships. And over their preservation after the birth of the child will have to work in twins. Summing up the above written above, we give 5 rules that will help save the family.

1. Diverse everyday life. The appearance of the baby makes life a pair of routine. In order not to drown in everyday life, and not to look for "adventures" on the side, arrange family days of rest. Ask grandparents for a few hours with a newborn and spend time together: a trip to the movies, a walk in the park, rest in the sauna, spa.
2. Voicate your experiences, emotions, wishes. Sometimes it is very difficult to understand the closest person. With the birth of a baby, you can become completely strangers to each other. That this does not happen, feel free to talk about your dissatisfaction in physical, emotional, moral terms. Do it neatly in the form of a dialogue. Do not blame partner, be prepared to hear and adequately take such information from it.
3. Forget about jealousy. Rule concerns both partners. Woman caregoing for the child begins to jealously jealous her husband, if he is delayed at work, comes tired home, does not show a desire to have sex. The man is sometimes unconsciously jealous of his beloved to the child who gets all her attention.
4. Do not forget about yourself (feminine rule). The newborn for the mother becomes the center of the Universe, but do not forget about himself. Perhaps the first six months full return is permissible, but after, Momchka should be remembered that she is a woman, as a man can get tired of his wife "in training with the unwitched head."
5. Command game in child care. Divide the responsibilities for child care. Help each other, even if tired and do not want to do this. The right organization of the care of the kid will help to carve periods for recreation and joint pastime.

Video: How to build relationships after the birth of a child?

Children are flowers of life! The birth of a child can destroy the family union, and can make it even stronger. Work on yourself, adapt to new conditions, try to maintain a partner in everything and then the birth of the baby will become a new point of reference the happiest day of marriage.